The Older Gay Man

Over time, the age of desirability for gay men seems to get younger and younger. The age discrimination and lack of attention older or mature gay men receive is synonymous with the pressure some women feel to get married and have children by a certain age.

Today, gay men are coming out at younger ages. It’s no longer a shock to hear of an openly gay 14-year-old or a 16-year-old in a gay relationship. Even gay bars see floods of 18 to 21-year-old gay boys seeking love and sex from their peers, leaving older gay men on the side lines. The recent attention and broader acceptance of gay marriage has also contributed to increased pressure for gay men to find love before it’s too late, or while they are still desirable.

Of course, this doesn’t make mature gay men charity cases; it only increases the pressure as ageing gay men begin to think about their futures. Some gay men also argue that other gays continue to search for the Fountain of Youth with plastic surgery, eating disorders, excessive gym hours and an obsession with body image.

Nearly 20 percent of gay seniors have no one to care for them should they become ill, versus 2 percent of heterosexual seniors.

Two thirds of gay seniors live alone versus one third of heterosexual seniors. To combat these growing statistics many Gay Community Centres are launching programmes and social groups for older gay men. In Sydney there is MAG, Mature Aged Gays, founded in 1990 and now the largest active group for mature Aged Gays and Bisexual men.

40 Comments

  1. Roy
    August 4, 2016 @ 1:13 pm

    Hi would like to talk some time I have been gay from way back, I like men that like men, I miss being with a nice guy the friendship and I miss the closeness

    • Paul
      May 28, 2017 @ 8:33 pm

      Hi Roy,
      I know what it feels like, and hope to find someone myself.
      Not sure of your age but I’m sixty.

      • geoff glover
        November 12, 2018 @ 9:26 am

        Hey Paul,my name is Geoff.Iam a 61yrs YOUNG,lol who CAME OUT 17 yrs ago leaving my marriage of 23years and two(then 14 and 15)children to cope and come to terms with their dads choice.. Fast forward and iam still a single bloke,loved by my adult kids and good friends with my lovely ex-wife..Blessed for sure!!Care to chatt??? cheers 0401799560.

  2. Paul
    May 28, 2017 @ 8:34 pm

    Hi Roy,
    I know what it feels like, and hope to find someone myself.
    Not sure of your age but I’m sixty.

  3. REGGIE ANDREWS
    June 26, 2017 @ 7:23 am

    i am 76 age who still home lonely without friends for many years by my late parents won;t have me meet old gay for sex and fun in the bed because of my both hate it so i feel horrible lonely life by my late parents still very cruel to me for grew up so my home is my name by council so they been hidden discuss with my estranged brother still against me my own private life o be miss years to come

    • spbloom
      July 4, 2017 @ 1:25 pm

      Hi Reggie,

      I think I get the gist of your email. It sounds like you’re faced with some negative people in your life. I understand how that can be hurtful and disappointing, but at your age it’s about time you looked for people that can provide you with support and a positive, caring environment. Just because they are family, doesn’t mean you have to like them, love them, or need to associate with them. This is especially true if they are so horrible toward you. No-one needs people like that in their life.

      There is a great organisation called Mature Aged Gays (MAG) magsydney.org I suggest you might find friendship, and support within that group. They have regular events that you could attend and it just might be the thing to help improve your situation.
      Best wishes
      Steven

  4. oliver
    July 18, 2017 @ 9:45 am

    im 35 and love mature gay men 65+ . love sex

    • spbloom
      July 18, 2017 @ 12:14 pm

      Hi Oliver,
      Many younger men like older guys, and of course we all love sex! So, why not come to one of our social events and you might have an opportunity to meet someone new!
      Cheers
      Steve

    • Daniel sinclair
      December 5, 2017 @ 11:04 pm

      Hi there I would like to meet you looking for an honest relationship i am 57 yrs old from Fiji

    • Steve
      June 4, 2018 @ 2:43 pm

      Hi is this really true younger guys going for older. Always thought it not true

  5. oliver
    July 18, 2017 @ 9:46 am

    would love to meet mature men interested in younger men

  6. Steve
    October 1, 2017 @ 11:27 pm

    Hi I am 48 and would love to meet a man over 65. I live on the Nth Beaches in Sydney and enjoy the company of an older man. Is anyone interested…..

    • Daniel sinclair
      December 5, 2017 @ 11:05 pm

      Hi there Steve if you are single and available I sm interested I am 57yrs old from fiji

  7. Lui
    October 13, 2017 @ 5:32 am

    Love yo meet older men or younger men who prefer older men for company or a relationship

  8. Ross
    October 25, 2017 @ 1:55 pm

    I am 28 from Scotland came over to sydney to travel australia over a year ago then met my partner he is 70 i am looking for couples who have a age gap like us to chat over a few wines

  9. Ross
    October 25, 2017 @ 2:23 pm

    Have an older partner im 28 looking for freinds

  10. Gavin Blake
    November 15, 2017 @ 5:31 am

    I really Want someone over the age of 50

  11. Terry
    November 23, 2017 @ 4:16 pm

    Approaching 80 and enjoy what limited time have had with other men. Unfortunately a very late starter and now seems mostly the younger are popular. Things don’t function as in years past so now quickies are off the agenda but replaced by friendship first.
    On rare occasions such a man was found what followed was I believe a very much more enjoyable experience. Nude chat over a cuppa or a glass of whatever while enjoying the view. Outdoor very much icing on the cake.
    Living in a “small” country town certainly doesn’t help so little choice to look much further afield, (Newcastle, Sydney etc).
    Am sure not alone with this situation so am interested in thoughts, experiences etc of others.

    • norm neil
      June 16, 2019 @ 2:07 pm

      Hi Terry
      I would love to chat we you

  12. Ross
    December 5, 2017 @ 6:53 pm

    Is there any groups i can join for actives

  13. oliver
    December 9, 2017 @ 5:13 am

    like to meet a nice sugar-grandaddy who is in need of some attention

  14. Ross
    January 5, 2018 @ 3:44 pm

    Any guys in Sydney up for drink

    • Rory
      May 19, 2018 @ 9:50 pm

      Dear Ross
      Hi my name is Rory and I am looking to also meet a good gay social.
      If you find one I would be great full to pass details on to me

      Regards
      Rory

  15. Bala
    February 11, 2018 @ 11:18 pm

    I enjoy being with an older man than young/younger. I find them just fascinating and sexually attractive. And I know many who feel aphrodisiacal of the same.

  16. simon
    May 4, 2018 @ 10:39 pm

    Hi I am looking for a older guy 40 or older I’m 26 and live in forster if you live in forster and like to chat send me a message

  17. Rory
    May 19, 2018 @ 9:45 pm

    Hi my name is Rory 64 ex art teacher looking to meet guys in thei fifties who are seeking guys who are interested in good conversation and social,activities.

    • Michele
      January 2, 2019 @ 5:07 pm

      Hi rory
      I am married but in the last year I have been attracted to gay men and wanting to be with a gay man
      I am 55

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  19. Max
    January 25, 2019 @ 6:06 am

    Hi. I’m 59 living one hour from Melbourne. And I’m so alone trying to find a muture guy. My age or older Impossible it seems

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  24. New
    April 2, 2019 @ 4:13 pm

    I’m 25 from England looking for an older man for some company in Sydney, newportyounger@mail.com

  25. steve commane
    June 16, 2019 @ 8:32 pm

    I think this a great and friendly place to meet chat and relax with others. I to am a late starter on this journey with men. I live in wollongong and would join in some of the events . but to get up to sydney and back on train is a hassle.

  26. Hayden
    September 8, 2019 @ 1:11 pm

    Hi everyone,

    I’m a 33 years old. I’m really into mature men specially above 50s. I’m very shy and coming from a conservative background. I would like to attend your social gathering but I’m a bit concerned about my privacy. Are these social gathering discrete?
    I hope to meet some nice men.

  27. Marc
    March 21, 2020 @ 9:15 am

    I am a gay 70 year old Hipster Bear with mobility issues and lives alone. My Soulmate of fifty years dyeing 20 years ago so I’ve grown used to isolation . Meaning MAG is totally useless to me for any sort of day time socializing. Also, They claim they care for their members, though none of them has ever met me, so when I decided to stop paying their membership of four years because what’s the point if I can’t get to their once a month night meeting, There was no email to ask if I was alright. Even now with the Carvirus. Besides, I have no interest in internet sites that are only looking for casual gay sex. There’s gay saunas for that! I am beyond that. What I do miss is a decent, sensible conversation. Is that too much to ask? Apparently, it is if there’s no prospect for gay sex involved.
    So, I’m just throwing is a line to see what response there may be. As, an old gay cynic I hope to be proved wrong
    senem homo homines facti sunt magis ad provectiorem aetatem pervenerint, ut invisibilia [old gay men become more invisible as they get older]

    • spbloom
      April 3, 2020 @ 11:28 am

      Hi Marc,
      I totally understand what you’re saying and feeling. I generally find that there are many organisations and companies that don’t understand the value of their customers or members. They also don’t seem to understand the relationship between the service or products they say they offer and what the actual experience is. I’ll be setting up some video conferencing in the next few days. I encourage you to join if you can. Hopefully we can have a productive conversation about how to deal with things like this and maybe make these organisations aware of their behaviour.
      Regards and thanks
      Steven (President – GAMMA)

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